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Jacks Corner

a Chance for a few old Salts to Cackle

 

It is currently 18 Dec 2017 00:08

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 Post subject: More short ones!
PostPosted: 15 Jul 2017 18:41 
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Commodore Commodore

Joined: 01 Dec 2006 20:53
Posts: 20788
Location: South West England
Pharmacist to customer:
"Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription...simply showing your marriage certificate and wife's picture is not enough".

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A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman
"Which book has helped you most in your life?"
The woman replied "My husband’s cheque book !!"

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A prospective husband in a book store "Do you have a book called, "Husband, the Master of the House"?
Sales Girl: Certainly Sir, you'll find it under 'Fiction and Comics' on the 1st floor!

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Someone asked an old man: “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife darling, honey, luv..... what’s the secret?"
Old man: I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her.

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Wife: I wish I was a newspaper so I’d be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper.....
so I could have a new one every day!

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Husband to wife: Today is a fine day.
Next day he says: Today is a fine day.
Again, the next day, he says the same thing: Today is a fine day.
Finally, after a week, the wife can’t take it and asks her husband 'Since last week, you have been saying “Today is a fine day". I am fed up. What’s the matter?
Husband: Last week when we had an argument, you said, “I will leave you one fine day.” I was just trying to make sure you remembered.

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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing;
Either the car is new or the wife.

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What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant;
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;
Panic is when both are pregnant!

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Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my Mum fainted,
Dad had a heart attack & our driver ran away!

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A young boy asks his Dad: "What is the difference between confident and confidential?
Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential!


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