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 Post subject: GED Test!
PostPosted: 24 Jul 2017 08:17 
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Commodore Commodore

Joined: 01 Dec 2006 20:53
Posts: 20788
Location: South West England
The following questions were set in last year's GED (American) examination.
These are genuine answers (from 18 year old students)

Q. Name the four seasons?
A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q. How is dew formed?
A.. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)

Q... What happens to your body as you age?
A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?
A.. Premature death.

Q. What is artificial insemination?
A... When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A.. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, yet brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. the abdomen)?
A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity.
The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal
cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U

Q. What is the fibula?
A.. A small lie.

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A.. Nearby.

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section.'
A.. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q. What is a seizure?
A.. A Roman Emperor.
(Ah yes, Julius Seizure: I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport. (irrefutable)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (brilliant)

AND THE BEST IS LAST:

Q. What is a turbine?
A.. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.


Seems the american kids are as thick as ours in some cases! Having said that tis a bit like the old saying "500 monkeys on typewriters and you get Sheakspear!"


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